The Foreign Threat
They're not indigenous, but they've settled in the UK. At first glance, they may look like safe UK spiders, but they're actually dangerous foreign spiders known as 'false widows'. They are all very closely related to the famous Black Widow, which kills 500 a week in North America and 20 people a day in banana-sorting depots in ports around the UK. With one-in-three UK spiders now thought to be a false widow, it's never been more important for Britons to kill everything indiscriminately.
Thankfully, right-wing dishrag The Sun is on hand to show us how to identify a false widow.